Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
