Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
