woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
