It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
