Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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