I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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