yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize