and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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