He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
