I am puke
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
