love makes seman taste better
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
