I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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