She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
