you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We got so high we made milksteak
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
