would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
don't judge my taste in strippers
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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