sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
