he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize