So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
