I think i peed on brittanys purse
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
