You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
