Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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