so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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