You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
of course. lets lasso hookers.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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