This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
