I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
