She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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