he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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