it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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