That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's never too late to be topless.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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