I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
