does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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