That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Two words: blizzard sex
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
