he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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