this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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