We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
