He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize