This girl is more easily done than said...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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