Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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