i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
