We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
