Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
