why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
