Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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