none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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