I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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