I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
