i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
