you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
