yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
