Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
