Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
