No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
