I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
