I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
