At least make sure they are 18
Why
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
