yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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