The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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